not the least because conny gives me these cool gifts, like she did
this christmas: a whole box of well-selected shirts from roadkill. most are even wearable in polite company :-)
not the least because conny gives me these cool gifts, like she did
this christmas: a whole box of well-selected shirts from roadkill. most are even wearable in polite company :-)
...but i find that 15w40 and nail polish remover goes really well with my salad.
i'm going camping tomorrow, and i like reusing containers (well-cleaned containers...). obviously i also like making silly labels with my label maker.
...except that one is not a homeomorphism but rather an example of subtractive manufacturing.
i must say they look very unimpressed with whatever human caretaker that had this attack of the math hahas.
last week my colleagues plastered my desk area with all kinds of motivational thingies. lots of grins when i came in next morning; they simply know me too well.
i spread the enshrined good vibes back out across the office and kept only this one, because it reminds me of a hiliarious movie that i enjoy a lot (zombieland)
a few years back my exwife brought me this gift on one of her periodic visits, also grinning quite a bit. she definitely knows me too well.
the clunky thing is now parked in my living room in a place of honou^Whigh visibility (directly in your line of sight when the entrance door is open). does it repel god botherers and scamsters? dunno; they rarely get to the point of an open door with me.
a further few years back my daughter gave me this gift. she clearly also knows me very well.
it's what i use for collecting spare change, but unconditionally: i do swear at misbehaving machines, dud technology, lousy situations and general stupidity, in order to stay somewhat sane. i refuse to pay for that :-)
now, what - if anything - might those gifts tell you about me?
...you have a trashy little toaster and two slices of bread that don't quite fit, and you're considering the orientation and the general topology of the bread so as to get the maximum even browning of the slices.
das 'innenministerium' heisst auf ungarisch 'belügyminisztérium'.
i salute that 82 year old granny: hers is a perfect example of making things do what you actually /need/, completely ignoring what the ven$$or may have intended them for.
contrary to initial expectations ;-)
,
azquotes.com neither collects
nor presents any of az's quotes.
bummer. i'm clearly defunct in the notoriety department.
Beim Herumstöbern bin ich über diesen ÖBB-Unfallbericht gestolpert, und hab den sehr lustig gefunden.
(Den Italienern ist eine unbemannte ÖBB-Lok Richtung Villach "ausgekommen" und dem Bericht nach sind daraufhin alle kurz wie die kopflosen Hendln herumgelaufen.)
Der Bericht selbst ist wunderbar. Die Formulierungen sind eine wilde Mischung aus Altösterreichischem Amtsdeutsch, elendigen Abkz. u.dgl. - und sehr witzigen Nacherzählungen bzw. Übersetzungen der Zeugenaussagen.
Auf Seite 13 lässt sich da der Italienische Chef gscheit aus, und auf Seite 17 wird klargemacht dass zum "Energischen Auffordern" das mit den Armen wacheln ganz klar dazugehört.
Insgesamt sehr Österreichisch, das Ganze.
-- karl kraus, wobei es sich fragt, ob der kraus über die (erlogene!) gschicht mit dem verschlampten hitler-brief gelacht oder gewettert hätte.
(see here if DSW is not a term you're familiar with...)
(dear english readers, sorry but that's all quite utterly untranslatable.)
wenn ich mir die letzten 40 jahre globale realpolitik anschauen würde dann wär mein resume 'mehr verlogene scheisse als die "seriösen" politiker kann so eine krach-rosa bettina auch nicht anrichten, und da wärs zuschaun wenigstens lustig.'
A few weeks ago I was wearing my Nirvana shirt (x-eyed smiley on the front, "flower sniffin, kitty pettin, baby kissin, corporate rock whores" on the back) and waited in the queue at the supermarket.
A woman behind me asked me what kind of company I work for: she had read the t-shirt text and thought it might involve gardening or rock walls...
a brazilian female geek has developed conductive makeup and eyelashes to make your visage into an input device.
I'm so looking forward to somebody repurposing this idea for an _out_put device; just imagine the fun that can be had if you could shockprod people remotely...
I find Charlie Stross' book series "The Laundry Files" absolutely hilarious.
It's a wild and wicked mix of Lovecraft, a bit of computer science, general IT, Dilbert, the BOFH, Deighton - and maybe Aleister Crowley.
Highly recommended - if you're somebody who appreciates the BOFH stories, Acts of Gord or Dilbert.
(Btw, not recommended - at least not by me: Accelerando. I couldn't stand it.)
yesterday the mailman brought the portable usb battery that i had ordered. the box it came in (i'm surprised there even is a box) has some hilarious examples of pretty incompetent translators at work.
i like the statement 'this product should be keep out of children.' :-)
reminds me of conny when she was very little, insisting that baguettes
are best eaten sideways.
Generally I do opt for almost indestructible plants for the small bit of indoor greenery that I want, but inadvertent horticide does happen every now and then...
(Yes, I know I'm late and that this picture is at least a year old, but I still find it pretty punny.)
Apparently pigs are happy to fly (ok, jump and dive) on their own. Chinese pigs, that is.
The pigs actually look more graceful than those acrobatic high divers...
But dog-shaming.com is pretty hilarious.
Apparently your life history is reflected in the types of germs in your belly button. This is, of course, highly exciting for every human on the planet.
Wikipedia is lovely. Today I learned that Kurt Gödel (a pretty well-known mathematical genius) also was a paranoiac and starved to death while his wife was hospitalized because he refused to eat anything not prepared by her.
possibly educated but precisely zero practical relevance.
i'm serious - which of the above would you consider to be practically useful bits of knowledge and which not? ('impact the course of history'?!?....bwuahahaa)
source: pleated-jeans
that's the way i read this company name: 'your health and safety is unintentional and purely accidental, as you wouldn't need to buy our services if you were safe and healthy.'
(pic snarfed from the demotivator company)
Researchers have found that going to meetings makes people stupid. (The whole paper can be found here - a candidate for an IG Nobel Price?)
If only the apparatchiks in my place of ork knew that - or even better, read this Harvard Business review article...
From the aptly named 'strange but true' category (in the Sydney Morning Herald news) here's a story about ridiculously gullible people.