'Twas the night before Christmas
and all 'round my belt,
Not an item was squarking
or beeping for help.

The pager was silent,
the cellphone as well.
The email was empty,
the situation was swell.
 
The lusers were happy,
and due to my hack,
The PHB was currently
detained in Iraq.
 
The servers were humming,
the errorlogs clear,
The building was locked,
I'm full of good cheer.

I with my Guiness,
from a pint glass I sucked,
if a luser wanted a password reset,
they can go get fscked,

Murphey be damned,
The Iron's been sated.
The goat has been slaughtered
And the pr0n-feed's gold plated.

Ma's dressed in a kerchief,
A bow on her neck,
Something nice to unwrap
For this tired old tech. 

So I sip on my brandy
While server fans whine.
Her lips taste of candy
The machines will be fine.

Mike Raeder, the Magrathean Jim and AJS of the monastery are responsible for this beauty.